Hidden time
My family and I were getting lunch at a cafe. Partly because my father had those free discount vouchers on hand. It’s pretty good, sans that you can only order coffee with it, but they offer decaf, that should compensate drinking coffee in the evening somewhat. They didn’t have decaf. I’m probably staying up late today (this was written a few weeks back, but I don’t want to delete this…).
I have bad time management. Like if someone says to meet up in an hour, I won’t be able to allocate the time to get ready and be there on time. Sometimes the place is only the faculty next door, and technically, I would have time to do other stuff and get there on time, but I always for some reason not do anything and still be late.
I’m not sure whether this is just me mindlessly scrolling on social media (yes), having the immediate urge to read a long technical blogpost in its entirety (yes) or just spacing out (also yes). My mind seems to perceive time either on slow mode when I am not doing anything or super fast when I am doing something. I couldn’t even time my walks. Sometimes it’ll only take 5 minutes, sometimes it’ll somehow take 15, and I would wonder how am I walking a three times slower than previous walks.
Driving is also a problem. I mean the traffic is random in my eyes, but I seem to not be able to be in the car when I want to start driving. Yes, I’m the friend who only starts getting ready when I’m supposed to be there, how can you tell?
In all seriousness it’s not that bad. I’ll only be late by 10 to 15 minutes most days, and I usually inform my friends ahead of time if I am going to be late for the meeting or lectures (for some reason I know I’m gonna be late way beforehand). I do have a conscience, however slim it may be.
I should change this habit (or behaviour? not sure what to call this really), though I’m not sure how. A dopamine detox? I could never get through with it. Therapy? I don’t know if that’s actually relevant here. I feel like I have to do something. I’m not sure what’s the best course of action here.
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